A Day in the Life
Mikey Hughes
Had I written this account a few years ago, it would have been somewhat different, most certainly if I had jotted it down in the 1990s when I could see. Today, one of my main challenges on a daily basis is getting good quality sleep. If I could, I’d be up the entire night and snooze the day away. Recently, I slept for sixteen hours. You might think that is excessive, and I probably could have got up after eight or maybe even twelve hours, but I stayed in bed in the hope that I would drift off and have one more dream. You see, ever since losing my sight, when I dream, it is just like being able to see again.
Even the worst nightmare probably does not compare to living your life as a blind person. Sure, it is not all bad, and I’ve probably done more things since losing my sight, but everything takes so much effort. As of late, routine seems to be my enemy, but we should make peace and get more in sync. I can usually be heard saying “Ohhh, I’ve so much to do”.
Needless to say, I don’t get round to doing it. When I say that, I don’t mean the carpet that has not been vacuumed (I don’t like the smell of plastic and the roar my vacuum cleaner gives off), but the pile of creative projects I would like to complete. Creative is the key here. If there is something that I need to do that does not involve creativity, I get weighed down even more.
I wish I could be the kind of person who could commit to the task in hand and disregard everything else. I actually got into stand-up again, a few years ago, as a distraction, and whilst I am on stage my mind is focused. I can’t be on stage all the time, however, and that is where the challenges reside. As I find it difficult to focus, doing two tasks at once helps. I cook from scratch, and whilst chopping potatoes and grating carrots, I say out aloud lines for the comedy set I might be working on at the time. The movement, and the fact that I am doing two things at the same time, helps to simulate comedy nights (not that I am cooking during them, now that is an idea).
In-fact, rather than sitting in the house and learning my lines so to speak, I’d rather get on a train and go shopping, not only do I practice my sets, but carrying home a backpack of heavy fruit n veg is my workout (though I did drop my bag and smash my glass bottles of water). On the train, standing beside the door, I say my sets out loud (I’ve not been arrested yet), where noisy passengers inadvertently act as a distracting audience, or the ticket examiner (a heckler) who asks for my ticket, despite my cane being on show, to which I reply “I’ve got my card”, without getting it out, then returning to my lines, sometimes shaken and sometimes stirred, but a lot more equipped to perform. In many ways, I regard the places I visit as a stage.
Well, I suppose I better describe, in more specific terms, a day in my life, I actually used to write a daily private journal, something that fell by the wayside, but I wish I had kept it up, and something I need to muster the energy for again. It would certainly have come in useful here. What I have been doing, however, is taking frequent voice memos on my watch, so much so that I have over six thousand of them. I wouldn’t even have enough time in an entire year to listen to them all back.
Let’s take the day of Sunday the 17th of May, for no other reason that it was the day before I wrote this article. It was a domestic day I would call it, though I did not do many chores. Well, that depends on what you call a chore. I hunted out the cables required for my vinyl turntables. Of course, I only found the cables for one deck, but at least I got the chance to play some of the second-hand records I recently bought. One of which was the 1969 soundtrack on LP of Richard Attenborough’s (yes David’s brother) First World War satire entitled Oh! What a Lovely War.
In-fact one of the reasons I dug out cables for my decks and keyboards and the like, at the risk of frying them if I plug in an incorrect wire, is that I am learning to perform the songs in Attenborough’s play, with the lofty dream of re-staging it at surely the only venue in Glasgow atmospherically fit for such a production, none other than the Panopticon.
Oh, here we go again, so much to do, so little time. There is even talk of me doing some DJ sets during the Edinburgh Fringe under Stand Up Sanctuary’s Unhinged at the Fringe with Barbie and Ken Unboxed. I’ve got Barbie Girl somewhere on vinyl, but will I ever find it? I must sort myself out and go digital (more technology to learn). On the day in question, however, Sunday the 17th of May, I did get up at a reasonable time I think (anything before 12 noon is good for me).
Rather than brushing my teeth, I used one of those inter-dental brushes, which should hopefully reduce the need to visit the hygienist. I then had my breakfast, or maybe I had my breakfast before I flossed my teeth. I did not actually make breakfast, however, well I had prepared it the day before. My new breakfast/lunch/dinner combo is what is usually referred to as overnight oats, which in my case, consisted of tipping a pile of uncooked porridge oats into a bowl, hand mixed with dollops of Greek yogurt, then stuffing in dates and cherries.
I also recorded the tune of my life, which nobody will ever hear, as I could not find the cables to connect the beep-making keyboard to my computer (well at least I did record a wee bit of it on my watch). After this energetic performance, for which I was sat on my bum, I ran up and down the stairs a few times (I would have jogged up and down on the spot outside, but it was torrential). I asked Alexa, if she had a boyfriend (Yes I do have a soft spot for her), though she gave me her usual reply, she is happily single (maybe one day). Before going to bed, which was well after 2AM, I debated whether to search for more cables, but decided against it, as had I found them, no doubt I would be up to six in the morning making a racket and annoying the neighbors.
I did wash my hands, however, as who knows what types of nasty plastic were on them, I should have worn my cotton gloves. One day, I’ll live on the Isle of Arran in a wee country cottage, make music and write books, and be helicoptered onto the mainland for comedy gigs (or maybe I’ll just stay on the mainland, as I hear that Arran has had wild fires).
Hey, let’s set the island on fire, and host a comedy festival there. Oh dear, as you can gather my day is filled with big ideas and day dreaming rather than getting down to the nitty gritty (I say as the dishes pile up in the sink, just stick them outside and let the rain wash them). In-fact if I am stuck for ideas, a walk in a downpour does a world of good. Mind, body and spirit as they say.
Mikey will be the opener at Good Chaat 4 at the Marlborough, Shawlands, Glasgow on Friday the 26th of June 2026.
He will also perform at Unhinged at the Fringe under Stand Up Sanctuary with Barbie and Ken Unboxed.
All Mikey’s forthcoming gigs will be posted on his website:
Which has links to his socials, though his insta is:
Instagram.com/hdrmichael