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A Day in the Life - In the life of a Creative
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Zubair Asghar ​
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Goodness, being in the arts is just so draining sometimes isn’t it? You take hours, days even, to wait for inspiration to write, draw, animate, create… and sometimes you come up with nothing. You start to doubt yourself. You start to wonder if you’re just not with the effort you put in. You start to think, ‘imposter syndrome? Yup, my face plastered all over it.’
I get it. At the best of times, we can’t help but think that we just aren’t good enough. We could be doing more - in fact we SHOULD be doing more. Why am I just sitting here at the desk, canvas or screen, and not doing anything? Why can’t I get myself to make SOMETHING? Was I only good for the last few things I made? Has my creative juices just run out? Am I not as talented as I thought I was, or as I wanted to be?
Well, I got news for you. You’re not alone. Literally EVERY creative, has hit this wall. We look around, wondering where the heck the door or window is through it. We’ll pace up and down it, try to run around it, but to no avail. And then, we take a few steps back and just stare at this wall, with the risk of an overwhelming feeling of defeat weighing on us.
Now that you’ve taken a step back, and you’ve stared long enough, there’s one thing you could do. You have to think about why you’re pursuing creative endeavours in the first place. What did you want out of it? When you grabbed that mic, picked up the pen or brush, or sat in front of the computer, what was the end goal?
Maybe, you just wanted to do this for fun. You wanted to express yourself so that you can be seen, maybe even accepted. You just wanted to get an idea out that came to you, because it’s cool to share something with people and have their approval. You didn’t have huge aspirations of becoming world famous, or being written in history. You just wanted to scratch that itch, to create.
There’s nothing wrong with that at all. In this modern, capitalist, ‘hustle or die’ culture we live in, it’s almost a shameful thing that you’re not trying to make money in ANYTHING you do. You must be deemed as the person who is always making moves, always smashing goals and always achieving things. Otherwise, you’re just a waste of breath and space.
What nonsense. What happened to just having a past time, enjoying a hobby? If you can make a bob or two, great. But if you sacrifice the joy of creating for the pursuit of status or wealth…well, that bucket never fills. You’ll be eventually looking at yourself in spite - ‘why can’t I make these things happen? I should be just as good as anyone else who made it. If I’m not, then what’s the point of doing it?’
The point, my comrade, was because you did it for the love of expression. You did it so you could scratch that itch, and have joy in sharing it with others. You don’t have to attain greatness - and not attaining greatness does not resign you to insignificance or obscurity, unless you choose to make it mean that. Having said all that, let’s get back to that wall.
Sometimes when you stare at that wall, as it stares back at you, maybe you have to take a few more steps back. Maybe you have to walk away, and come back later to see if something has presented itself. Maybe time doesn’t just heal wounds, but reveals antidotes too. Maybe, you’ve done all you can and that’s ok, that’s more than many people have ever done their whole lives. You’ve created memories, feelings, connections. Be proud of yourself.