May 2025 edition

Markee de Saw

Markee de Saw is an international cabaret performer, classically trained singer, and highly skilled musical saw player.  Her powerful operatic voice has wowed audiences across the U.K. and Europe and has earned Markee a sterling reputation as one of Scotland's top variety performers.  Although originally from California, she has made Scotland her home and become a veteran of the Scottish cabaret scene with a career that has lasted almost 2 decades.

How did you get your start?

​I like to think that I came out of the womb as a performer, but I made my first debut on a stage at age 4, and started working professionally as an actor in Hollywood at age 6. I started singing opera at age 9. I studied music and theatre at University and now have several postgraduate degrees in the field. I made my debut as ‘Markee de Saw’ almost 20 years ago on the Panopticon stage here in Glasgow.

How did you become a cabaret performer?

​When I first moved to Glasgow I hoped to continue my career as a theatre/musical theatre/operetta performer, but realised quickly there weren’t many opportunities in that profession outside of London. At the time the cabaret scene was just starting up in Glasgow, and I ‘accidentally’ fell into it.  And it’s the best accident that has ever happened to me.

What is cabaret?

​Cabaret is typically a show that has various different performers in it, all doing special talents, although I do solo shows as well. Cabaret is very similar to variety shows, although I like to think it’s a bit darker, sexier and more likely to be found in a dark underground bar. Also the audience at cabaret shows play an important role in the show itself, whether they are actually brought up on the stage or chatting to the performer from their seats, a cabaret audience should never be quiet!

Why did you start playing a musical saw?

​I had hoped to become a singer in the cabaret scene, but the competition was very high.  One producer told me that ‘they had enough singers’, to which I blurted out ‘but I can play a musical saw!’ This wasn’t a complete lie, I could play it, I just couldn’t play it well!  I got booked immediately, but I only had a week to actually learn to play a melody on the saw, which is one of the hardest instruments out there.  There is a reason there aren’t very many of us! I ended up performing, playing my saw very badly, but I sang well, so they booked me again. However, because I had debuted with the name ‘Markee de Saw’, I figured I needed to learn how to play the thing, otherwise the name was pretty silly. Luckily after almost 2 decades of playing it, I’ve become a very skilled musical saw player. My musical saw and I have now been all around Europe, I am one of the most in demand cabaret performers in Scotland, and one of the leading musical saw players in the UK.I’m not the first person to play a saw though, the musical saw has a long rich history in the variety and cabaret world. It is hard to know who first tried it, but it was likely lumber jacks in the 1800s. It quickly made its way into variety and vaudeville in the early 1900s. The most famous saw player is Marlene Dietrich, who used to be a cabaret singer and musical saw player like me. I like to think I am carrying on the tradition of all these fabulous variety performers who came before me. .

RONNIE BLACK 

​For those who might not know you, can you please tell us about yourself?

​I am Ronnie Black, I am 58 and I am married to Noreen. We have been together for 36 years, and have three grown-up kids  Jordan 27, Esther 25, and Rebekah 21. I come from a really big Glasgow family where my dad had 10 brothers and 7 sisters.

My wife Noreen”s parents came over to Scotland from Jamaica in the 1960s and she was one of the very few black families in Glasgow and the Gorbals. I started going to church in my early 20s, before that I was, as they say in Glasgow “a bit of a nutter”. I am glad I did as that is where I met my wife. When we met 36 years ago there were very few biracial couples in Glasgow but I need to say we have suffered no racism in all our years together from the people of Glasgow.

Noreen supports my comedy but until last year she had never seen me perform. Thankfully she was at this years show Different Class with my oldest daughter. I think she was there to check the ticket money was correct.

I am a senior manager supporting adults with a learning disability but have recently went  part-time to concentrate on developing my comedy and Padel.

       I know your comedy journey but for those who don’t how you began, can you please give us your highlights?

I initially done amateur comedy acting in my 20s to 40s and was told by Ian Pattison (creator of Rab C Nesbitt) that I was funny and a way into professional comedy acting was through stand up. Ten years later Graham Stewart got me a 5-minute spot in the Iron Horse run by John Caruthers. I loved it from day one.

I done my first solo show in my first year of stand up in the Yes Bar. Graham Stewart opened for me and it was an incredible buzz doing 40 minutes to a packed room. Always remember Stephen Buchanan was on straight after me and he stormed it, as you would expect.

I was about to give up comedy after a long lay-off during covid and the thought of starting again filled me with dread. My first gig back was opening for Gary Faulds in the Motherwell Civic Theatre. My thinking was that if I die on stage then that’s my comedy journey over. Surprisingly I went down pretty well and proceeded to do tour support for Gary in many big venues. It was an absolute privilege to be given these opportunities to perform at 2 sold out Glees and of course the Glasgow Armadillo.

Some of my grounding in comedy was running a monthly gig in the Cartvale in Busby. I remember telling the audience that they were privileged to see some of the best up-and-coming acts in Scotland and would definitely see many on the TV and Live At The Apollo. I think myself and Graham gave Liam Farrelly his first paid gig of £10. It might not have been much but every act was paid as many were of a great standard.

Doing Edinburgh for the first time four years ago was brilliant doing four extremely busy solo shows. Although two years ago doing my first run of Men in Quilts with Kenny Sinclair and of course Graham Stewart was just outstanding. We really did take Edinburgh by storm that year and many sad people still have calanders of our half-naked bodies.

Most recently I took a leap of faith and booked the iconic Arches. A venue more than double any previous solo show.

Having the room rammed was a dream come true and gave me confidence that I can pull a crowd. I must say the best part of the show was seeing my wee 90-year-old mother sitting in the audience beaming with pride for her wee boy. Her words were “ Are they really all here to see you?”. Thanks goes out to Graham and Billy Kirkwood for keeping me calm and Mark Robertson for floating the idea of the Arches.

Who makes you laugh the most?

I am so privileged that I got to see Sean Locke live on the opening weekend of the Glasgow Glee. No one has made me laugh so hard that I could hardly breathe. Also saw Big Gary Little perform a 20 minute spot on the same bill about a “frying pan”. Gary is an outstanding big man.

 Has comedy made you happier or unhappier in your career?

Without a doubt happier. I wanted to be a role model to my kids as it took me 10 years to build up the courage to try stand up. This happened after my first encounter with Ian Pattison. I wanted my kids to know that you should never let fear hold you back from doing something you want to do and not to look back on your life with regrets regarding what you didn’t do.

Also doing my solo shows has been a regular meeting point for many old school friends to reconnect.

        Do you have any unfulfilled ambitions? In comedy? In life?

My first passion was acting and I was pretty good at it having had no training, so I would definitely love to do comedy acting. During lockdown I had a great time doing short videos every day whilst walking my dog but also had such a laugh with Gary Faulds, Chrissy Ross and Dazza making a number of viral videos. Probably our best was myself and Gary were the only 2 old firm supporters allowed into the first post-Covid match. We had more than a million hits but most importantly such a laugh doing it.

Also would like to continue to develop our Pop Up Comedy brand and produce more accessible quality nights of comedy within communities.

Lastly the panto legend that is Gary Morrison has been giving me advice about getting into panto. I am open to offers.

From the random generated images below, what image are you most drawn to and why?

​Definitely the elephant as we have this week just booked to go on a safari! We are going next year for my wife’s 60th birthday and our 30th wedding anniversary. My wife has always wanted to go.

I am actually also drawn to the bats as I play Padel most days of the week and although I say so myself I am pretty good for a guy with a lot of relaxed muscle.

 Do you have anything to plug?

​Yes! Myself and my mate Stevie Clarke run afternoon comedy brunch and after party. Our next gig is in Revolution (the old Tunnel) on Saturday 7th June. 1pm – 6pm. Drink on arrival, brunch, comedy with myself the brilliant Amanda Hursy and our outstanding headliner Des Clark. This is followed by Stevie on the decks and everyone on the dance floor until 6pm. Our first one in November was just great and showed us that there is a market for this. Feel free to come along and share with friends.

Stand up Journeys:  Russell Woodward

​The Realities of Stand-Up on The Road

​In 1986 I was working in Butlins Security in Bognor Regis on the south coast of England. I had always wanted to try stand up but never had the courage to try. When TV personalities appeared at the camp a member of the security team were assigned to escort them during their time there. For me during the season it was Jack Smethurst (Love Thy Neighbour), Gary Wilmot and Rod Hull and Emu. Rod was a complete gentleman and I told him of my comedy ambitions. He arranged me to go on stage to introduce him and told a few jokes. I got a few laughs but was very nervous. Later he gave me so much advice about comedy. He said that it was obvious that I was so nervous and as a result I was very dead pan in my delivery and that I should use that as a stage persona. He wished me well and hoped I would realise my dream.

​I did nothing more in front of an audience for 15 years until the bus I was driving broke down in the middle of nowhere. Upon informing the office I was told it would be about half an hour to get a replacement bus to us.

The passengers were none to happy, so to pass the time I began to tell them jokes and was amazed that I was getting lots of laughs. This was when I realised I could probably do this after all.

My first proper gig was at a social club in Largs which went very well. Over the next six months I did around 20 gigs that went really well. The next I completely died on my arse, the most horrible feeling ever but I learned a lot from the experience.

Next a wonderful promoter called Mark Mulgrew saw me and offered me a spot on the bill of a variety show in Mussleburgh. I was the only comedian. All the rest were singers. Surprisingly, I went down really well despite my nerves. Even today I am really nervous before every gig. Feeling sick in my stomach nervous and I think I always will be. I have worked all over Britain and Ireland, Spain and Malta. One of the best times was an eight day tour of County Clare, Ireland, here most of the locations for Father Ted were filmed. I had so much fun visiting them.

I mostly do social clubs and holiday resorts but my favourite venue is the Panoptican Music Hall in Glasgow because that is where my all time hero Stan Laurel began his comedy journey. My comedy influences are Chick Murray, Spike Milligan, Frank Skinner, Bob Monkhouse and of course the greatest of all, Laurel and Hardy. I intend to continue my stand up for as long as I can. Sorry but I do.

The Man-o-Pause Diaries

Stephen Hughes May 2025

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

​As a gay man hurtling towards fifty quicker than a menopausal woman's short temper, I find myself getting more and more annoyed at the little things in life.  I was thinking about hair, not the hair on my head, I’ve long since accepted that this has gone never to be retrieved.  It happened when I turned forty.  I remember the visits to the barber were taking longer and longer, this was bemusing as the hair was becoming less and less.  Then I came to the realization that all the time, trimming, blow drying, faffing was just to give me a high end combover.  One day I presented my barber of several years with a picture of Shane Ward and said to him - make me look like this.  He was hesitant then replied, “I’m a barber not a bloody magician”.  Anyway I digress.

The point I was making was regarding body hair, in particular chest hair.  Growing up in the decades I did the cover boy photos were all of Burt Reynolds and Tom Sellick with their dark dark hair and porno groomed moustaches.  Not to be outdone by their thatch of glossy chest hair.  On seeing these approximately aged eleven I wanted nothing more than a shag pile rug covering every inch of my chest.  I would check daily if any of the wisps of blonde baby hair had developed into the Tom Sellick weave overnight.  Back then there was no such thing as the internet so you would have to rely on word of mouth and stories passed down by the older generation.  One of these myths was that if you shaved your hair it would grow back in thicker.  Had to be worth a go, especially in the chest region - I wasn’t quite ready for any other region to be explored.  As I didn’t have any experience with a razor I was rather apprehensive, but as I searched for my Dad’s Old Spice shaving soap and brush I discovered something quite different which may be just the thing.  Immac Hair Removal Cream (I believe it has now been rebranded Veet - or it might not even be a thing now?). Reading the tiniest of instructions on the back of the tube, as my Mum was obviously an expert in using this and had thrown the big instructions away with the box.  It seemed fairly straightforward - apply to the area you wish hair to be removed, leave for 10 minutes and simply wash off.  Squeezing this Immac cream from the tube, I was overtaken by the smell, difficult to describe but a kind of peroxide sewage water smell.  Getting this far I just went for it, applying this hair removal cream all over my prepubescent chest, hoping for a miracle growth.  NOt unpleasant to begin with, actually quite soothing although the smell was horrific.  Looking down at my Casio watch I timed ten minutes.

Then it happened, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God that stuff burns.  I’m not sure I even made it to a minute and a half.  My bald little pigeon chest was on fire.  Hotter than the gates Hell and I had to get this stuff off.  In reality there was no hair to be removed and I was scalding off a layer of skin with this over the counter torture cream.  Grabbing the nearest flannel and running the cold water I couldn’t get this devil cream off quick enough.

This was a lesson in patience.  As I neared fourteen I remember the elation of that first curly black hair right in the middle of my chest.  Oh how I nurtured it, played with it, helped it grow and mature, inviting lots of its curly black friends to join it.  I did end up with the weave of chest hair I had always longed for.  I have enjoyed it for nearly 34 years, it has maintained its colour and integrity.  Until recently, no-one ever told me it would turn grey, then grow like a steel wool brillo pad, able to pierce your T-shirt and grow in every direction but the right one.  I give up, is Imaac/Veet still on the market?

A Day in the Life

​Lucha ​

​So, being asked about a "day in the life," let’s just cover a 24-hour period from two weeks ago. I was performing as both a wrestler and a comic in the same day…ish—give or take the time difference.

​I had to get from Bremen, Germany (after performing for DWA—a crazy German promotion), via Amsterdam, and then fly back to Scotland to get to Blackfriars by 11 p.m. for the Glasgow Comedy Festival Roast Battle event.

​Just after midnight, I’d finished main-eventing the Sold out show in Germany and was drinking at the bar with the other wrestlers from across teurope and the USA until about 2 a.m. Then I crashed at the hotel.

​Next morning: wake up, check out, head to Bremen Airport—where I dined on Germany’s famously extensive sausage-or-sausage selection. I killed time trying to find Wi-Fi to watch the football before flying to Amsterdam. There, I had just 43 minutes to catch my connecting flight to Edinburgh—sprinting through the airport, dragging my case, silently praying that security wouldn’t open it and reveal my clatty, sweaty wrestling gear.

​On the flight, I got slept on by a guy I "accidentally" shouldered in the temple at least nine times. The plus side? I had my roast material prepped on my tablet screen. To the casual observer, my 20-odd jokes about my pal and fellow Indian comic Hitesh may or may not have looked like I was writing a Reform UK manifesto.

​I landed in Edinburgh just after 9 p.m., giving me under two hours to get to Blackfriars for call time. I made it just in time—feeling like a burst couch—as I skimmed through my material. Then I performed, just before the clock struck midnight again.

​So, in one day: three countries, two performances, and one severely smelly carry-on bag.

I went from performing in front of a crowd of rowdy drunk Germans—who I had in the palm of my hand (wrestling crowd work comes easy when you're the good guy in the mask)—to a rowdy drunk Glasgow woman in Glasgow screaming at me for making fun of my roast opponent’s mum.

​Comedy crowds vary wildly, apart from being drunk obviously—and being the masked guy roasting an Indian comic by essentially telling a, sold-out crowd that I hope he gets deported by the Home Office is... yeah, very different from how I am in real life.

​But going from hero to villain is always fun. I don’t mind being the heel. When the event calls for it, the transition form wrestling to comedy has been fun and I look forward to more crossover events where I go from punching someone in the face to comedy, 

​To see where I am doing wrestling or comedy jump onto LuchaDS.com 

 My next international date is May 1st where I have a roast battle event in Barcelona. 

Lucha

On The Road with Hitesh Rathore

​The Realities of Stand-Up on The Road

Hitesh is a short king with big ambitions, mainly involving comedy, chai, and causing mild chaos wherever he goes. As a stand-up comedian and co-runner of Two Shades of Funny, he’s been terrorizing Scotland’s comedy scene with his sharp wit and complete disregard for political correctness.

Hitesh’s life is basically a sitcom that Netflix should’ve picked up by now. His dad, a man who once unknowingly quoted Nigel Farage in a heartfelt Facebook tribute, serves as both his inspiration and proof that life is just one long, ridiculous joke.

Between planning a café that introduces Scotland to the "actual" Chai and writing jokes about why he shouldn’t be allowed near Facebook arguments, Hitesh is also figuring out how to afford butter without starting an OnlyFans.

His show 'Chips, Cheese, and Curry' at the Glasgow International Comedy Festival left audiences in stitches. Future plans include performing on even bigger stages, avoiding deportation, and finally getting a tattoo that reflects his life choices (probably a microphone wrapped in bad decisions). If you’re looking for a comedian who blends cultural absurdity with self-deprecating humor, Hitesh is your guy. If you’re looking for someone to give a respectful eulogy, maybe look elsewhere.

He had travelled everywhere, from the beautiful streets of Inverness to shady streets of Edinburgh, but his true love lies in Glasgow - he loves Glasgow's unhinged crowd. They never be replicated anywhere in the world. People do make Glasgow.

​His favourite audiences have been Dundee and Edinburgh, in Edinburgh he has learned a lot because that is where international people go so it's the best place to learn to become a professional comic.  Dundee isn't so multicultural but a warm audience regardless. But out of everywhere he has performed his heart belongs in Glasgow! 

GAMING 

​BY Euan Scarlett

​Hello and welcome to another month of the Laughs of Us. This month, I’ve been mostly catching up with the pile of shame, first demon slaying with the Doom reboots, then subjecting myself to hours of bleak post-apocalyptic trauma by finally getting around to playing The Last Of Us Part II in anticipation of the TV adaptation’s return to our screens this month with season 2.

​I’d felt like a bit of a palate cleanser after last month’s epic but ultimately forgettable fantasy adventures in Avowed, so picked up 2016’s Doom reboot from where I’d previously abandoned it in 2018, apparently on the third level, for reasons unknown but likely ADHD related. The latest sequel Doom - The Dark Ages hits in May so it felt like a good time to finally get on with it.  Anyway, I just restarted it, remembering that it had been decent, and it certainly is a jolly old time of battling the hordes of hell with all the original weapons from the 90s version. As a reboot it ticked all the boxes for me, bringing back the speedy gunplay and open arenas requiring continued movement which elevated the first 2 games and their spinoffs over the slower paced horrors of Doom 3. In fact I enjoyed Doom (2016) so much I immediately embarked on continuing the journey of ‘Doom Guy’ in the sequel, Doom - Eternal, which surprised me greatly by not providing just more of the same, but instead an entirely different more fluid distillation of the same, which, whilst still recognisably Doom, was a more arcadey but also outstanding game experience with a gameplay loop very distinct from the prior reboot. Whilst this choice proved divisive amongst fans of Doom (2016) I look forward to the apparently different again and more melee focussed Doom - The Dark Ages mixing up the combat loop once more when it releases this month. Hopefully there will also be more of the strangely engaging but entirely batshit story of exactly why you are fighting the hordes of hell, as this has been one of the best ridiculous unnecessary backstories since Vin Diesel’s The Chronicles of Riddick movie and a race of intergalactic world conquering space goths, and I’ve enjoyed it immensely.

​The rest of the gaming month I spent being traumatised by The Last of Us Part II, as I wanted to experience the story in the original medium before watching season 2 of the award winning TV adaptation which returned to our screens in April. Also it inspired the title of this games section, though unfortunately the games themselves don’t feature much in the way of laughs.

As the show is still running, and with a season 3 already announced, I’m fairly certain they will not be covering the plot of the second game in its entirety over season 2, and I won’t be discussing any story specifics from the first or second games throughout the rest of this, so anyone worried should be assured before reading that although I will be discussing overarching themes and gameplay aspects and brief aspects of the story, there will be no actual plot spoilers as I’m fully of the belief that’s a genuinely evil thing to do to anyone.

​When I played The Last of Us on Playstation 3 back when it originally came out in 2013 it was clear at the time that it was a step up for integrating narrative and gameplay, telling what became for many players, including myself, an incredibly moving and effective story of grief, love, extreme violence and their consequences set against a post-apocalyptic America. Last Of Us inhabits the subset of zombie apocalypse fiction known as ‘infected people’ where a disease creates similar effects on people as making them zombies, with popular cinematic entries including George A. Romero’s The Crazies and its excellent modern remake (with the first shitty Hitman movie’s star, actor Timothy Olyphant, who admitted in an interview he’d only taken on the role of Agent 47 in that videogame adaptation to pay for his new house after Deadwood got suddenly cancelled) as well as 28 Days Later and its sequels, and both games and the TV show plot revolve around the relationships established between pairs of characters making journeys across the ravaged American landscape, and with those they encounter on the way. In both the first game and the first series the major motivations for at least one of the main characters are grief and redemption, in the second game and presumably the continuation of the TV adaptation there are two interwoven tales of journeys both of which also involve grief as well as much darker motivations.

I’m happy to admit that having completed The Last Of Us and hearing they were planning a sequel I was in two minds about it since I’d felt the ending to the first was so utterly devastating, compelling, relatable and perfect, and the emotional journey to get there so well told through the gameplay, that it would be impossible to follow adequately. So I’d only picked up part II for PS4 after word of mouth and great reviews advised it was arguably better than the first game, and it hit my magic price point of £15 in popular second hand media and pube emporium CEX. Then didn’t play it for a few years until now.

One of the things about videogames that’s different from movies, or at least used to be, maybe not so much now, but you used to be able to rely on the sequel to a popular game usually being better than the first one. If you are a regular reader you’ll remember that Assassin’s Creed II is better than Assassin’s Creed; Street Fighter II is better than Street Fighter, though the original Street Fighter arcade machine had a version I played in a wee dive of arcade at the top of Buchanan Street where the concert hall is now, that featured punch pads instead of buttons and how hard you hit them was whether you did a strong, medium or in the case of me, a weedy teenager too young to be in the other side of the arcade where the gambling was, light. I recall me and my mate hitting the buttons with our elbows and maybe getting a medium, but you’d see big drunken guys on a Saturday afternoon punching the fuck out this thing and screaming comical racist slurs based on the nationality of their in-game opponent, or indeed slurs based on their sex or perceived sexuality. To quote popular modern Scottish poet Calvin Harris, it was acceptable in the 80s. It was acceptable at the time. The Street Fighter machine with actual punching was popular but sadly did not last very long.

​Getting back to my point I was trying to make, I was expecting the moment to moment gameplay in The Last of Us, Part II to be better than the first one as there’s precedent for that in the videogame world. And I was right, though it iterates on the first game, obviously, the main combat and stealth gameplay was improved a lot from the first game, and throughout the course of the game there is a balance of risk and reward, and skill and arsenal plays a great part in how combat is or can be approached so as the game progresses there is a pleasing learning curve that will be entertaining to match against higher difficulties, giving the game replay value, along with the usual pish of collectable diary entries left around the gameworld along with an entire set of whatever trading cards or other guff they’ve come up with this time to pad it out a bit and stop you selling it to CEX in the first place. What I wasn’t expecting was that narrative wise they’d give me the equivalent of Godfather Part II, continuing with the overall themes of love, grief and violence and both the effect and consequences of them but to extraordinary and devastating effect through both the ingame story scenes and the gameplay-led storytelling much like the first. I expect if the TV adaptation continues to be as exceptional in its second series as the first was, then audiences are in for a rough ride. I completed the Last of Us Part II emotionally drained and can wholeheartedly recommend the experience, also the first. I played the game on normal difficulty and it was only really challenging at parts without prior knowledge of encounters, but for inexperienced players I’d probably recommend the easiest difficulty level if you’ve come to the games as a fan of the TV show. Should probably go without saying that this entire franchise isn’t suitable for children in the slightest, as there are some quite disturbingly graphic depictions of murder and violence as well as some lesbians smoking a joint which will rile up the Daily Mail readers, all of which you can see in the beautiful screenshots accompanying this article.

​I promise next month will be back to the actual laughs (of us) instead of wallowing in post-apoca

ONSLAUGHT Celebrate 40 Years of ‘Power from Hell’ in Explosive Style!

​Venue: Audio, Glasgow – Saturday 26th April 2025

​British thrash legends ONSLAUGHT tore into Audio on Saturday night, celebrating 40 years of their landmark 1985 debut Power from Hell.  From the first riff, it was clear that this was old-school thrash at its most raw, and Glasgow were ready for it!

​Blazing into the night with Onslaught (Power from Hell), the band wasted no time whipping the crowd into a wild furore. Dave Garnett’s snarling vocals and energetic stage presence was backed by the ripping riffs of sole remaining original member Nige Rockett. The pit erupted with Thermonuclear Devastation, and it was all thrashing bodies, relentless stage dives and chaotic mosh pits from there.

​The power didn’t let up as they charged through Lord of Evil and Death Metal.  Jeff Williams’ bass boomed throughout the venue; he looked like he was feeding off the energy from the crowd which as evidenced by his jolly expression throughout. Wayne Dorman was clearly having a great time, raising metal horns to the crowd – his guitars added layers of raging sonics which locked in tightly with James Perry’s pounding drums. 

​Angels of Death and The Devil’s Legion kept the tempo and the spirit feral. Audio’s low ceiling and close quarters only amplified the chaos. Steel Meets Steel saw the crowd in hysteria, before Witch Hunt unleashed even more carnage in the pit. The atmosphere built to a dark, glorious peak during Let There Be Death then it was a full-throttle charge through some of their most popular tracks Strike Fast Strike Hard and 6-6-Fucking-6 –classic treats in addition to playing Power from Hell in its entirety. 

​Destroyer of Worlds highlighted their heavier, menacing side, before Killing Peace ignited a final surge of pit mayhem. To end the night, they launched into a roaring cover of Motörhead’s Iron Fist, a fitting tribute however one of their own songs would have produced a more fitting finale.

​It wasn’t just the electric atmosphere and classic tunage that made the night unforgettable – it was the sheer celebration of four decades of defiance, energy, and unrelenting passion. ONSLAUGHT didn’t just revisit their roots – they proved they’ve still got the fire and enthusiasm to deliver.  All the more reason to look forward to their latest album Origins of Aggression, due to be released on 23rd May 2025.

​If Audio had a roof left after that onslaught (pun very much intended), it’s a miracle.

​By Smeggy McSmeggerson

Jim Henson  

​This month’s influencer is a man who has shaped the world I live in from my earliest years.  My love of Jim Henson’s work began with Fraggle Rock, I loved the puppets, their songs, and the subterranean world that they inhabited along with the Doozers and a plethora of fantastical creatures created by Henson.

 Jim Henson’s most famous creation is of course The Muppets, too well known to require an introduction, which I began to watch about the same time as Fraggle Rock and watch it to this day!  My personal favourites are Statler and Waldorf who heckle the other Muppets from their seats in the gallery.

 Jim Henson was born in 1936 in Greenville, Mississippi, and grew up in nearby Leland.  He began developing puppets in high school, and continued to do so while in college where he formed the Jim Henson Company in 1958. He joined the children’s television show Sesame Street for which he created Muppet characters, and he also appeared on Saturday Night Live before creating The Muppet Show in 1976.

 Henson did not just work in television, he also made classic movies which are now legendary such as The Dark Crystal (1982), Labyrinth (1986) and The Witches (1990). 

 The Dark Crysal is a dark fantasy film that came out in 1982 and although it turned a modest profit, it was not a massive hit with critical reviews and audience reception being mixed.  It was supposedly too scary for kids in contrast to The Muppets, but I disagree as after watching it I became hooked on the world of Thra and the journey of the Gelflings. The film has gained a more positive reputation in the years since it’s release and is now held in high regard.

 In 2017 Netflix produced a prequel to The Dark Crystal called The Age of Resistance in association with the Jim Henson Company. Sadly, it wasn't a big enough hit to justify a second series which is tragic as it's so well done, and the puppetry is out of this world!

 Labyrinth is another of his movies to acquire a cult following and not only because David Bowie was cast to play the Goblin King. The music and the storyline is a fantastical adventure and again the characters are so real and lifelike you could believe they were real. Brian Froud, who was conceptual designer and illustrator regularly attends comic cons to this day where he talks about his work on the film. 

 I can't mention Jim Henson without mentioning The Storyteller. This is one of the most overlooked of Jim Henson works. It was a British made series that ran for two seasons between 1987 and 1989 in which John Hurt would recount myths or fairytales which were then brought to life with a full cast, magical scenery, and high-quality puppetry. Season One often features obscure European stories and Season Two was focused exclusively on Greek Mythology. It genuinely deserves all the praise it can get, and it's embracing of the darkness and drama makes it reminiscent of other dark fantasy Henson works such as The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth.

 Jim Henson sadly died in 1990 at the age of only 53. Such a short life but his memory will live on forever through his creations.

Pet of the month! 

​Skye's cat Trixie

​​Trixie likes chicken and fugglers (those ugly monster Teddy's). She also enjoys rolling around in damp towels, which is ironic since cats hate water. 

She likes sitting on people's shoulders and climbing up their backs. 

She likes sticking her head in things like shoes and bags, she also really likes sitting in bags for life and washing baskets. 

She really likes dreamies and treats and general. 

Trixie hates men (reason is unknown). She hates fish and any food that contains jelly (she's a picky cat). She hates the Hoover and hair dryers. She hates posters and usually claws at them, as well as tapestrys and flags (she ate half of my scotland flag).

​Definitely not Goblins Review

On Sunday 20th April 2025 I found myself in the basement area of Blackfriars in Glasgow, a public house located in the oldest part of Glasgow, which is named after the medieval religious order of Dominican Monks whose friary was in the same area.  I was there to attend  an event which also has a medieval flavour to it, a fantasy role playing game called Definitely Not Goblins.​

Although I have been a fan of fantasy and role-playing games since I was a teen, this was the first time that I’d ever attended a live role-playing game. Despite this being my first time at such an event the format was reminiscent of the 1980s television programme Knightmare of which I was an avid viewer.   Dungeons and Dragons is now in it’s 51st year having begun in 1974 and has always had strong sub-culture of dedicated players, but the television show ‘Stranger Things’ which is set in the 1980’s and depicts the younger characters playing the game has increased it’s popularity in recent years.

​Robin Zetina was the Dungeon Master and the game featured 4 players who each played fantasy characters and made up two opposing teams.  To help give the audience a sense of place there was a screen which showed images of the location in which the game was taking place, and the fantasy worlds they were inhabiting.

​​Robin Zetina is a comedian as well as a Dungeon Master and he ensured that the proceedings were good humoured with the appropriate sense of levity, which was more than matched by the four contestants, whom I understand are the regular players. They played to a full house of mainly Dungeons and Dragons enthusiasts and also a few newbies like myself.  I quickly got immersed in the game and at one point found myself shouting along with the other audience members “Jump through the portal!” as one of the characters hesitated on her next move.  

As is common with this live format, there is a degree of audience participation and a good deal of improvising on the part of the players. Of course its main appeal is to Dungeons and Dragons aficionados, but it can also be enjoyed by those with no previous experience of the game.  In these days of war in Europe and a lunatic in the White House it is good to lose yourself in a fantasy world in what looks like a Glasgow dungeon.​​​