Jan Edition

Blind Panic at the Panopticon

By Mikey Hughes

Have the disabled made progress, well in a round about way. In true Victorian tradition I performed at the oldest living working theatre in the world; the officially entitled Britannia Panopticon Music Hall in Glasgow (surely Colonial overtones? Name change soon? Ha). I was not so much a Victorian Freak exhibit, although from what I heard, they were well paid. Ha, I didn’t get so much as a Schilling, but I did get something that money can’t buy. For the first time in a long while, I went to bed with a chuckle and woke up with one.

The first challenge was to find the venue, I was with sighted comedian Rose Wild, who led me up a cobbled lane that led to a dead end. The strange thing is, I have walked about Glasgow’s Trongate when I was sighted and still didn’t know about this gem. Up the adjacent lane and a man stood in a doorway and said they weren’t open yet. I know we were an hour early. Rose explained that we were one of the acts and he let us in. We hiked up a flight of stairs, that were that well-trodden that they sunk in the middle. The weight of the place was already upon us. We arrived at a landing and I heard what I can only described as a few theatre lovies. I had a laugh, and said to Rose that they don’t need us here. Think of your elite of the elite Opera/Arts type and there you have it. We hiked up another flight of stairs and stood at a door that Rose said was closed. One of the lovies, the adorable Deb’s I think, appeared and said you pull the door inwards. All a bit Alice and Wonderland. I was in stiches and the fun hadn’t even begun.

We had picked one of the coldest nights of the year (minus five outside), but the running joke of the entire evening was that it was warmer outside.

Judith the manager said that even if they heated up the building, the warmth would escape, did it even have a roof?

Me and Rose got a photo beside a cardboard cut-out of Stan Laurel who had performed at the venue. I said to Rose that this was another fine mess she had got me into, is that a fact, and sure enough!

I don’t know what it is about stairs that freak out the sighted, but me and Rose had to get onto the stage somehow. I stepped onto the front stairs that led to the stage, but was told that they could not be used. Why not? I asked, already two stairs up. Judith said there wasn’t a handrail. I asked if this applied to all the other acts, and it did. Fine then. I am in favour of equality.

The safest way onto the stage, apparently, was to walk down a step into a hallway then hike up a tight spiral-staircase. I put my hand on what I thought was a wall and the entire thing fell down (crash, bang, wallop). Just think of the comedy film High Spirits with Peter O’Tool and its collapsing set. I thought I had caused some serious damage to this A-listed plus plus building, but a frantic Judith said it was their entire panto backdrop. I later found out that comedian Steve Wicks arrived at the hall just at the exact moment the set crashed down. It was the loudest of rackets, it sounded like an entire wall had collapsed. Well it would have been a lot easier had I just walked up the stairs at the front of the stage. I said to Judith, what have the fluffy Paralympians achieved with their OBEs if the blind canny hike up a few stairs? She said they were not forewarned that I was coming otherwise they would have moved the set (no doubt that somebody is now busy reconstructing for next season). Were we back in World War Two, with the Observer Corps motto Forearmed is Forewarned. Or in Berlin in 1945 where the phrase the Russians were coming struck fear into the city’s residents. I should have sent the Panopticon a letter, not that it would have arrived, so that a committee could stamp my pass and say that the blind were allowed to enter the building. Folks, the blind are fine with stairs, I walk up and down them every day of my life. It is performers and people in wheelchairs we should be concerned about, as the Panopticon is inaccessible. Surely they could install a chair lift? I said to Judith, thanks for having us, but be honest, you don’t really need us here, I get it, the aim is to preserve the building at all costs, and we have created carnage already. I’ll leave her reply between us!

So me and Rose’s wee mishap, meant that we didn’t actually get onto the stage until our act began. We hiked up the spiral staircase and onto the stage without a crash, but the second we got onto the stage there was hushed silence (at least we did not get tomatoes thrown at us). You could have heard a pin drop. I not only felt the eyes of the audience upon me, but the eyes and voices of everybody who had performed before us. Just think of the scene in the Dead Poets Society. Hey, I was only Rose’s gimp for the evening, the pressure was on her, but together we generated the laughs. A work-in-progress mind you, but when an audience member came up to us after our set and said it was original, that really meant something. I soaked up the Panopticon and it has given me energy to work on the sets I am involved in at the Glasgow International Comedy Festival. I’ll be performing with Rose Wild, and Tez Baker (who sadly could not attend the Panopticon due to being a wheelchair user), in a show entitled See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Wheel No Evil (I am the See No part if you hadn’t guessed). I am not sure if I will ever be allowed in the Panopticon again, but I hope that it lasts for another hundred years and more. It should be on every performers bucket list, even on one of the coldest nights of the year. The laughs will warm you up. Oh, and I’ll stick to my promise to Grant the duty manager, a funny guy in his own right, and give the Panopticon a donation, for putting my two friends on the guest list, as they don’t actually operate one (which caused a bit of paperwork in itself). Ha, maybe I’ll even become a friend of the place, and investigate the cellar, not crammed anymore with Victorian live animals but old slot machines from the amusement arcade next door.

For the shows I am involved in in the Glasgow International Comedy Festival, March 2025 (it was nice to see one of my fellow comedians, Hitesh Rathore (P Diddy and Friends), perform at the Panopticon on the same night as me), check oot my website, including the link to the other Glasgow Comedy Festival show I am involved in entitled Leaky Blinders:

Drblinder.co.uk

THE GAY DAD DIARIES | Buying bras… by Stephen Hughes 

Being a dad is hard, being a gay dad harder; being a gay dad to a teenage daughter is mind boggling. This week it has mainly been about bras. Now as a gay man of nearly forty with a rapidly increasing waistline and a rapidly receding hairline the last place you expect to find yourself is in the teenage underwear section of M&S. My daughter has decided this week she needs support in a certain area.

The extent of my underwear shopping consists of logging on and ordering Calvin Klein 3 pack of briefs still in a medium, just.

The choice of colour is red, black or white but I have been known to push the boat out and buy some pink on occasion. Now I am thrust into this world of uplifts, padding and underwire. The choice of colour and styles is overwhelming as the aisles and aisles of bras stretch out in front of us.

At this point I think both me and my daughter are both feeling a touch embarrassed so I do what any gay man worth their salt would do and engage the services of the friendly female shop assistant. This would surely ease the tension all round and allow my daughter to be fitted with her underwear properly and allow us to exit in as short a time as possible.

After explaining why we are here I safely deposit my daughter with the shop assistant only to hear at earth shattering levels, “I am not putting a bra on in front of her!” Pulling my daughter aside I make clear there is no reason to change in front of the assistant she is merely there to help and ensure the bra fits.

Drama avoided, I take a seat in the men’s section and await the return of both. After what seems like an eternity they return with several items discreetly wrapped with nothing more for me to do than pay the bill.

Advertisements

We both have a sense of relief as we leave the shop. Bras bought and no more to be said on the subject. Or so I thought. On returning home, like any girl after a shopping trip, she disappears upstairs to try on her newly purchased items. Then the voice from beyond, “DAD! DAD! these bras don’t fit me.”

That’s it for this week. I’m done with bras. Next week periods…

​​​ Stand up Journeys:  John Purves 

An Unexpected Journey

So, what is the scariest thing you have ever done…?

For me… Tuesday 3 April 2007.

Maggie May’s in Glasgow, Comedy Showcase.

A big audience, probably around 100 people – pretty daunting for your 1st ever comedy gig!

I have since discovered that, in comedy at least, bigger is usually better! It really does come down to numbers: 100 people and half of them laugh, that’s 50! 10 and half of them laugh, that’s only 5!

In my opinion a bigger audience is definitely an advantage. I didn’t feel that then!

I’ve always loved stand-up – I used to go a lot of gigs.

It was Xmas 2006. I was scrolling through Strathclyde Uni’s night classes…  “Stand-up Comedy”!

A class in Stand-up Comedy…?! Seriously?

I guess there are some opportunities you just can’t let pass you by…

So, I signed up for Viv Gee’s Comedy Class.

Listen, if you are thinking about taking up comedy, I would encourage you to join Viv’s class, and if you are already involved you will find Viv’s Advanced Class an inspiration.   

I am indebted to Viv for introducing me to an unexpected comedy journey - an experience that will live with me forever, and has become part of who I am.

At that point, I was thinking the course would be fun (which it was!), that I’d do the Showcase, and that would be it!

Bucket list sort of thing.

I never imagined it would become a significant part of my life.

The day of the Showcase arrived… one of the longest days of my life! How do you prepare, even psychologically?

On the night, we were handed the running order… I was on last out of 8!

It meant living through my own personal hell until it was my turn – while trying my very best to be supportive to everyone else!

So much to take in.

Don’t get the mic lead tangled… 

Whatever you do, don’t forget your set…

Don’t look like a rabbit in the headlights – even if that’s exactly how you feel!

Simon Cowell has 2 valuable quotes on performing – well, probably more than 2, but 2 that I’ve found helpful:

·         “You never pay money to see somebody nervous.”

·         “The minute an audience feels nervous, it doesn’t work.”

The Showcase was amazing!

Honestly, was it a great performance? (I have the DVD!)

No… not even close! But it was my first performance, and it went well.

If I had crashed and burned, I would never have done it again!

As it happened, it was the beginning of my comedy adventure…

I was lucky.

I started out before the comedy explosion, with Live at the Apollo, Michael McIntyre Roadshow.

There are way more new comedians now than there were then.

I think it’s tougher starting out today.

It was a dream performing with many of my comedy heroes.

Distance was no object.

8 hour round trip to Hartlepool – who’s even heard of Hartlepool?! -  for a 15 minute spot where (sadly) I was spectacularly average!

Newcastle, Aberdeen, but fortunately many closer to home!

Comedians’ road trips were always an experience!

A few of us were returning from an Edinburgh Fringe show…

I drove a Subara then – car of choice of the criminal fraternity and almost guaranteed to be stopped by the Police.

‘Do you know why I’ve pulled you over?’ asked the Police Officer.

Not a clue… however I’m still in post-gig hyper!

I’m in comedian mindset! “Is it because I’ve been drinking, officer…?” I hadn’t – but somehow in my head that sounded funny…

Genuinely worst audience ever!

I did 7 years at the Edinburgh Fringe… some of my fellow performers have gone on to become stellar!

I have come across some of the craziest people I have ever encountered (some in a good way!!!), met some of the most wonderful human beings on the planet, and discovered people who will be part of my life forever. 

One of the givens about comedy is that at some point – more than once! – you will die on stage.

That is the loneliest place on the planet, and you have to learn to deal with that.

The other side is that making people laugh is the most amazing feeling in the world – there is absolutely nothing like it!

You learn so much about yourself in comedy…

Chic Murray said: “Only mediocre people are at their best all the time!”  I think he’s right!

Then there are “Reviews”: no matter how good the review, you always find the negative!

I guess really, all I want is for someone to say I was wonderful – but that’s not really how it works!

Sometimes there are negatives… but you gotta get them in perspective.

One Fringe show I had done a 20 minute set, which as far as I could tell had gone incredibly well… a reviewer criticised one gag! One gag which was 9 words long!

I hurt so much about that… until someone helped me see it for what it was.

I have performed to more than 700 people (350 of them laughed!!!), and I have performed to 1 person – who was, actually, a remarkably good audience!

I love audiences – they are the reason that we’re there at all and they deserve all the respect we can give them.

I have had gigs that made me feel like I was the funniest guy in the world, and I have died a slow and painful death.

People often ask about hecklers.

I usually bulldoze through!

I am scripted – minimal interaction.

I can’t MC – I am neither smart enough or quick enough.

Those of you who are MCs – I salute (and admire) you.

What is my best/worst heckle (best or worst depending on where you’re standing!)?

I can even remember where it was!!! McPhabbs in Glasgow.

I was dying horribly… Tumbleweed was blowing across the stage…

I had a gag which began with the phrase: “There are 2 things I’m rubbish at…”

This guy shouts out: ‘I know one of them!’

Had to laugh – it was the best line in my set that night!

Comedy is totally subjective.

One night, everything turns to gold, the next, nothing works.

At a gig in Dumbarton one woman just shouted out all through my set. I went to talk to her at the break. I said: “I’m assuming you just hated my set?” ‘No’, she said, ‘I loved it – I just like shouting at people!’

Comedy has been the most amazing journey of my life.

You can find humour in anything… catching an angle on something everyone else has seen but hasn’t noticed.

Sometimes you gotta let go stuff because it doesn’t work…

But sometimes you can keep it in just because you like it.

Too much self-indulgence is fatal – but just a little is probably OK.

One of my favourite gags never works – I think I can count on one hand the number of people who have got it.

“All polar bears are left-handed… That’s just sinister!”

I live in hope that, one day, people who have heard that gag, will get it, and think: ‘Ahhh!’.

I know, delusional!

But hey, when you’re a comedian, delusional is a gift!

One night at Jongleurs I was doing a set.

It was going OK.

Without any warning, at the end of a gag that I had pretty much always regarded as average, certainly not one of my best, the audience erupted with laughter.

Of course I was delighted – but a little curious.

I made the mistake of asking one of the other comedians.

He said: ‘Just at that point, a girl got up to go to the toilet and walked into the Guys’ toilet.’

I guess I now always have a sorta hope, wherever I am, that just at the right moment, someone might head for the wrong toilet… but maybe that only ever happens once!

After 7+ years, I stopped in 2014 – I felt I’d done as much as I wanted to do and I didn’t ever want to lose the spark and enjoyment of doing comedy. It was the right call at the time.

But comedy is in your blood – it becomes part of you.

In 2022, I did a comedy course on Skyros an idyllic Greek island. Ironically, I chose to do it because it felt safe!

I was at the beginning of a new chapter in my life.

It reignited the spark.

Comedy was about to become a part of my life again.

A heartfelt thank you to all the amazing people who have supported me, encouraged me, invited me to perform, welcomed me back – you have made my return way easier than I feared it might be.

It’s good to be back!

I’ve been John Purves…

On The Road with Lubna Kerr

In 2016, I went on a comedy tour of Texas, performing in Houston, Austin, Dallas, and San Antonio.

Texas is the second-largest state in the USA, three times the size of the United Kingdom, and often stereotyped as a “redneck” state. You know, like neds, chavs, or the cast of Love Island.

Similar to the UK, the majority of comedians in Texas are men, with the occasional woman dotted here and there. I was adding to the oddity— and the dottiness. While American humour is often thought to differ from British comedy, I found their storytelling style surprisingly akin to Billy Connolly's. Since I once lived across from where Billy worked in Govan when I was a baby, surely some of his talent must have been passed to me via osmosis! Or so I told myself.

Someone once said it takes five years to find your voice in comedy. At the time, I was only three years into my career. However, I’d done a fair number of gigs, and what I lacked in experience, I made up for in confidence. After all, I was in the USA— the land of confidence, often without the backing of talent. I fitted right in.

In Houston, I performed at The Secret Group alongside Slade Ham (who I’m still in touch with). At the time, he was doing a lot of gigs for American army bases. Also on the bill was a member of the Whiskey Brothers. I couldn’t help but wonder which Scottish immigrant came up with that name.

Texas is fascinating. Many people there have a skin tone similar to mine, but the similarities end there. I thought we Scots dropped syllables when we spoke, but Texans take the biscuit, the chocolate, and the whole cake.

Take “y’all,” for instance. It’s one word with a variety of meanings, and it’s up to the listener to figure out what’s meant. It sounds like “yule,” which confused me since I was there in September. It’s all well and good if you speak Texan fluently, but when you’ve been mistaken for Jennifer Lopez’s sister from another mother twice removed, things can get lost in translation. At least, that’s what I told the police officer who stopped me for walking across the road to the outlet mall. Texas doesn’t have pavements— sorry, sidewalks— so I was walking on the road. Clearly, walking isn’t a thing there; I should have taken a taxi. There was no Uber in those days.

Next stop: Austin, the capital of Texas. I liked Austin. It has sidewalks, giving it a British vibe, and coffee shops on every corner, though not the plethora of charity shops we have in the UK. Their thrift shops are huge, though. The ones in Austin reminded me of the posh charity shops in Glasgow’s West End or Stockbridge in Edinburgh. Still, it would’ve been cheaper to shop at Walmart, but seeing guns for sale did wonders for curbing my shopping addiction.

Austin is the hip, trendy part of Texas. I tried to fit in, attempting not to look like a Mexican Mary Poppins, but I failed dismally. The comedy scene there was reminiscent of the Scottish circuit, with comedians running from gig to gig on the same night. I performed at venues like the Velvet Room and The Creek and the Cave.

One highlight was when the compère, a flamboyant man with hair far lovelier than mine, introduced me as being from “Scotland, Edinburgh.” Living up to the stereotype that Americans have no clue where Scotland is, of course. Forget TikTok— Trump should’ve invested in geography lessons and maps for every American.

In San Antonio, I performed at a club run by an Englishman, which felt more like a UK-style comedy night. I think it was called Laugh Out Loud (LOL).

Then there was Dallas. The organiser contacted me beforehand to warn me about using any F-bombs. F-bombs? They bomb the entire world, but I can’t drop an F-word? “Frank, get the door!”

I took the advice seriously, though, because in Texas, they pull a gun faster than they pour a pint. At the gig— held in a hotel— guns were casually placed on the tables next to their beers. Suddenly, the phrase dying on stage took on a whole new meaning. I won’t name the club— don’t want them coming after me.

The scariest moment of the tour happened during that gig. While I was on stage, the lights went out. For a split second, I thought I was about to literally die. Some of you might be disappointed to hear that it didn’t put me off comedy. But as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Comedians Questions 

Who are you?

I am Graham Mackie and I have recently entered the twilight of my life expectancy as detailed by the government’s life expectations statistics for the lifestyle I lead and the area I was born, raised and educated, that is Govan, Glasgow. I played on the streets of Govan as a young boy which sometimes took us in derelict shipbuilding yards and buildings on the banks of the River Clyde or sometimes to Elder Park where you might end up in the pond. Occasionally when I was feeling brave my friends and I would venture north of the river by either a wee ferry boat or when it was opened, through the new Clyde Tunnel.

Why are you funny?

Some say I am funny because I relate well to the audiences. I try hard to not take myself or most things too seriously. I have lived and worked in and around Glasgow and the west of Scotland all my life and bring a lot of real-life experiences to the stage which the audiences can find relatable and funny.

Who or what makes you laugh?

Being on stage with a big crowd who is listening to my every word and making them laugh. I love when something happens in the spur of the moment and we all end up laughing at the same time! There’s loads of comics on the circuit who make me laugh - too many to name names.

What is your unfulfilled ambition?

Someday I would like to find the DeLorean from Back to the Future and go back to when I was a young man and have a word with myself about certain life decisions I have made throughout the years.

From the random generated images below, what image are you most drawn to and why?

I am most drawn to the image of the sun as it gives me the feeling of calm, I love to see the sea and I love to see the sun - so to see them both at the same time is very pleasing. Settle a score from life or comedy, apologise or agitate. A long time ago a line manager said to me that it was very unfortunate that I had requested time off work. It was to attend a funeral of a 21-year-old friend of mine who had been killed in a road crash in Holland during the summer break from college. I bitterly regret not telling him exactly what I thought of his pitiful response to such a horrific loss of life. 

 by Yvonne Hughes 

​ Pet of the month! 

Iain MacDonalds Chorizo is a miniature dachshund that is currently 3 and a half months old. He is a KC registered pup and has the bloodline from Charlie Chaplin’s own dachshund but whether he has a preference for slapstick or puns has yet to be determined. He was named after the very similar looking dachshund from the game ‘Far Cry 6’ and for any that have played it, he is just as mischievous! Indeed, as well as being the name of a Spanish sausage, Chorizo in Spanish is what one would call a thief- and when it comes to food he certainly lives up to that name. Unless it is out of reach, he will be off with it! He does love his cheese and turkey- thank God I bought a few oopsie ones on Boxing Day. He also loves to go into the cats litter and bring out some poo for a munch on that so he is certainly not a fussy eater. We have him as part of a dachshund walking group and whilst he isn’t the biggest fan of walking yet, he gives it a go. Well, as much as his little legs will carry him. He is a very playful pup and will go crazy with zoomies when he sees you and just loves attention and to give big kisses when he sees you. Just be careful it’s not after he’s just been to visit the cats litter tray…

Hello, and welcome to your monthly mystical manifesto! Well, OK it is more of a column, but alliteration makes me sound more magical. Horoscopes are so 2024, in this new year, I, Cosmic Cathy will guide your most important decisions by drawing a tarot card especially for you (and around 666,666,666 people in the world who share your birth month.) Are you ready? Think of the advice you need, head to your birth month, and the answer to all your burning questions will be revealed:

JANUARY: The Four of Pentacles

This card is the card of material wealth - in January? Who are you kidding?! Either you’ve robbed a bank or you’re being very stingy, hiding whatever wealth you have from your friends. When did you last buy a round? Perhaps you should share your hoarded fortune - or if you are not being miserly, you should just rob a bank.

FEBRUARY: The Six of Cups

Your card focuses on the magic and innocence of childhood. Are you having fond memories of years gone by? Did you share your old train set with a wide-eyed niece or nephew? (who looked at you like you were from the dark ages and then went back to their Switch.) Or are you simply hiding from the responsibilities of adulthood? Is being a comedian not immature enough for you? Book that eye-test, do that tax return, come on, it is time to be an adult!!!

MARCH: The Five of Cups

A card of loss. Oh no, how dreadful, I am sorry. Did you drink too much at the Christmas party and get the sack? Did you eat one too many brussels sprouts and pass gas in front of granny, knocking her from her pedestal of Matriarch of the thunderous fart, causing a raucous row that resulted in a family feud to rival the Jacobites and Redcoats? Did you simply knock back a good snifter of cooking brandy and somehow fall tongue-first into your brother-in-law? Tell us because we love the goss … I mean, oh well, what is done is done, accept it, you were a prat, but you’ll get over it and maybe by the time next year’s Fringe comes along you’ll have written it into a set. 

APRIL: The Four of Wands

Opportunity!!! Well done, you have achieved the first step of your goal and you’re living a happy home-life. Why are you reading this? Did you not know divination is for us desperate souls not you Mr. I’ve-Got-My-Life-Together, why are you looking at me all smug? Stop it! A word of warning though Ms. Oh-So-Perfect-I’m-About-To-Get-My-Dream, don’t take it for granted and remember the team that has helped you along the way … and, if you’re super successful, remember your spiritual advisor, Cosmic Cathy. Please!

MAY: The Hierophant

A card representing someone who is wise and good at following rules - who is this person in your life because, as a comedian reading their tarot card, desperately looking for answers, I can take an educated guess that it isn’t you! Seek this person out to be your teacher, they will guide you, but beware, they will try and make you conform, are you ready for such a challenge? 

JUNE: The Hanged Man

A card of delays and inaction. You will be stuck in traffic or delayed by snow. The trains will be cancelled and the weather will be crap. Hang on, this is just January… but alas, the card foretells that you will suffer worse. Do not struggle, be still and peaceful and everything will be right eventually. Use these times of stillness to relax. Listen to music instead of tooting your horn and acting like a massive toddler. Get over it, we're stuck too and frankly you're making it worse. 

JULY: The Star

The Star asks you to reconnect with your soul, you are made of stardust. Not Stardust the brilliant, and frankly totally underrated fantasy film where Robert De Niro cross-dresses in his sky-ship, but the actual stuff that makes up the Universe (gases and shit, I think.) Anyway, whatever, it is a good card, be more zen, chill out, just relax will you?!

AUGUST: Justice

You can’t save the world alone! Errrr, oh no, that was Justice League. This card tells you that fairness will prevail, if you’ve been mistreated, karma is going to appear and kick some butts! If however you’ve been the dirty, rotten, cheating scoundrel, you better go and put things right, before the Universe does it for you!

SEPTEMBER:  The Queen of Wands

Wow gurrrl, how many toys do you have in that bedside drawer of yours? If this card isn’t referring to a lady with a love of all things phallic, it may refer to the 13th card in the suit of wands. This queen is telling you that you will have emotional strength, great ideas and your plans are going to work out just fine. But seriously, you don’t need any more rampant rabbits.

OCTOBER: The Ace of Wands

New beginnings and exciting opportunities are to be expected when you draw this card - well, it is January so I guess you don’t really need me to tell you that. While the Ace of Wands is primarily concerned with new opportunities at work, it can mean the start of a new life - so, if you didn’t take precautions that time in the stationary cupboard during the Christmas party, now is the time to check your work offers parental leave. Congratulations! 

NOVEMBER: The Ten of Swords

This card represents a tragic outcome, rock bottom or a terrible betrayal. Oh dear, what a calamity. However there is good news! This card also tells you when you’re being a total drama-queen, overreacting or being a hypochondriac - now be honest, is the world really out to get you or are you suffering from a touch of emo-ism? Finish up your navel-gazing and put that attention-seeking on the stage where it belongs.

DECEMBER: The Page of Cups

This card says you’re of a dreamy disposition, full of ideas and creativity, as innocent as a child and beautifully idealistic. How lovely, but be careful! When your head is in the clouds you are easy to take advantage of, it is likely that hot girl on Tinder is actually a scam-bot and whatever you do, do not give that Nigerian Prince all of your savings! 

Disclaimer: Cosmic Cathy can only take credit for positives that come from your reading, she cannot be implemented in personal catastrophes, court cases or your divorce.